scribble...scribble

The weird caller

2011-02-22T01:04:00.000-08:00

I've been getting weird calls from this really weird caller. He's been saying he wanted to make friendship with me! Been trying to dodge him for a while now...hoping to do so for sometime. None of this would've happened had i been with you-know-who!
It's been a really long time since I last saw him. A really long time since we went for a walk...a really long time since we sat at a restaurant and argued about who'd pay the bill...a really long time since we smiled together...a really long time since we held hands...
I miss him...

Office cubicles... cups of caffeine

2011-02-21T04:37:00.001-08:00

Been sleeping in my office cubicle for the last half an hour, with my TL peeping at me from the top of his own cubicle. lLoking around with beady eyes i could see my cup of coffee still lying there beside my hand(i went off to sleep after draining an entire cup). Guess the effects of coffee is starting to wear off in my case. I keep falling asleep inspite of all the caffeine. Someone kill me...or give me some work!!!

GHOR!!!!

2011-02-18T10:30:00.000-08:00

*grin*
finally booked my tickets to ghy. 25th of Feb! This is gonna be so good...
*grin widening*

Happy Me!

2011-02-17T03:30:00.000-08:00

Was scrolling through my previous blogs. The conclusion...I Used To Be Distraught...ALL THE TIME!!!

Don't really remember why though...guess it was an overdose of evanescence songs. For those who aren't familiar with that name, it's a goth-rock band singing super depressing songs. O_o. Weird, huh!

And now, the new super-happy me have decided to write only happy and relevant blogs. Blogs that'll actually make readers happy...not make them grovel on the ground, wanting to die. :P

Until then, ciao!

haunted

2008-07-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

i shut my eyes...
it's your face i see
i cover my ears...
it's your voice i hear
why does your thought still haunt me?
when you had already left me.
is this what you wanted...
to see me lonely and weeping?
your name still on my lips...
my soul---dark and dying
i want to go home
back to where i belong...
but the shadows hold me back
while you still haunt my dreams...

the last lie...

2008-04-30T03:56:00.000-07:00

losing myself in every breath i take
i freefall into the darkness
evil voices spy upon my prayers
while i lay naked and frightened
you tell me to be brave
tell me to guard the last lie
and while i sit in the dark
i keep wondering
will you ever free me...
will i ever sing again?
and as i still cry inside
no one can hear me weep
as my essence melts away
i know i'm in too deep

the pain won't let me forget you...

2008-04-16T03:58:00.000-07:00

I thought the pain would make me forget you,
But everytime it hurts...
I realise how much I'm still in love with you...

btech degree???

2008-03-31T01:51:00.000-07:00

engineering...btech degree...CGPA...
what's the use?? it's like, everyone gets a job at the end of the day. c'mon, that's why we are made to study, are we not?
i know, you probably must've been wondering what made me blog(since i don't feel like blogging nowadays...refer: section ETC under ME)...but i've got a good reason...got my electromagnetic waves surprise quiz tomorrow. yeah! it's supposed to be a surprise quiz, but news leaked...hey it's a college...stuff like this keep happening all the time. too bad question papers never leak; not that i want them to get leaked or something(that's none of your business to know whether i want them leaked or not, anyway). i love competition. maybe that's what makes me study at the end, eg: during my end sem exams. luckily, i somehow manage to scrape marks which are kinda ok(touch wood!).
anyway, engineering is not as bad as studying medical science is. now, medical science is something...it'll just suffocate you to death. engineering is really easy. i know i shouldn't be cribbing like this. but the location of my collge is so annoyingly remote! it's like, 24 kilometers from the nearest decent civilization.
NO it doesn't help with all the concentration. it depresses you...there has been many suicide cases, you know. pretty pathetic. it's a good thing that i've got an outlet---blogging, that is. i ain't angry now, it's just that i don't feel like sleeping. it's 1:45 at night(read: insomniac) and i've got a crazy timetable tomorrow...four hours of continuous class...from 8:30 in the morning to 12:30...one hour lunch break...then again, back to the grind...1:30 to 4:30...and the so-called surprise quiz after 4:30. oh dear! it's gonna be one hell of a super hectic day! guess, i should probably go and get some sleep. it ain't proper for my health, anyway. and my friends tell me that i'm getting thinner and thinner every passing second. god! in that case, i'll probably resemble a twig after somedays...just imagine getting thinner every second(wow!) VLCC should worship me.

Finding Nemo(???)

2008-03-29T16:04:00.001-07:00

Cold whispers...

2008-03-27T02:45:00.000-07:00

too numb from the cold
it is winter again
scarlet blood streams down her eyes
while she writhes in pain

wondering what lies ahead
she stares as the clouds float above her
cold voices whisper into her ear
and she's scared of falling forever

you cut her heart out
i can see her in agony
she's speaking to the wind
her hair flying in streaks of ebony

wanting to smile again
she's trying hard to breathe
trying to resurface for air
empty thoughts keep pulling her from beneath

going under---she's bleeding again
can you not hear her screams?
hollow and emotionless---she shuts her eyes
to go back to her black and white dreams...

her conscience laughs at her
haunted by her own shadow
listen to her cry for help
her breathing; slow and shallow

she tries to crawl away
as the dark depths beckon her
she tries to hide
but the ghosts keep finding her

i give her my hand
she refuses to grasp it
while she drowns in it
she can't say no to it.

Broken

2008-03-26T15:43:00.001-07:00

Just a masquerade...

2008-03-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

How can you look behind the mask and not see the pain
How can you look into my eyes and not see the tear
How can you not know that it's all pretence
That it's just a masquerade...

My childish fears holding me back
Can't you see me undone and jaded
Screaming for help...smothered by your thoughts
I know it's just a masquerade...

Lost inside...

2008-03-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

She's more dead than living,
Craving for love and care
Walking like a living corpse;
Caught in her own snare.

She's trapped inside her own mind
Living in her world of dreams...
Not knowing her real identity,
She can't hear her own screams.

Standing in front of the mirror
She shouts at her own face,
She has lost her home; and the
Graveyard's her only place.

People thinks she's psychic,
Her soul dissolving inside her;
She wants her suicide,
Losing herself inside her...

Tarantula

2008-03-21T12:15:00.000-07:00

hey! this is the first poem that i had written. that's why i totally love it...read on...its kinda funny, and it's based on a true incident.

It was a dark rainswept night,
With your eyes reflecting the moonlight;
When you jumped onto my hand,
But as if across my mouth was tied a tight band;
I couldn't gasp nor shout,
And obviously I totally freaked out;
For a tarantula was in full sight,
So, I think you all can imagine my plight.

And then while I stared at you,
With eyes steady at a long ant queue;
You slowly drew out your claw-like pincers,
While I was dabbing my hand with some tincture;
Then like lightening you made your move,
While the ants kept moving towards the groove;
Which shocked me to my very core,
And now I was beginning to turn sore;

All the ants started running here and there,
Looked like a game of dare to bare;
With no one baring their hiding place,
And all I could do was fumble with my pyjama lace;
Then the gecko came to the rescue,
Slowly the ant queue became as good as new;
While ants stopped scattering all around,
The spider dropped to the ground.

But Mr. Spidey didn't drop down dead,
And I thought it was as heavy as lead;
Now I was beginning to realise my folly,
While with its webbings it landed gracefully;
Looking at me through eight round eyes,
I think it was scrutinizing my size;
But then it waved me a cheery good-bye,
Believe me, am telling the truth and no lie.

I'm learning...

2008-03-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Written ages ago...found it in my diary(I was young...)

Why are girls always attracted to the worst possible guys? Its like, they have this fatal charm around them which they use to their full advantage, obviously. One moment they're all nice and friendly and the next moment...their hands are wrapped all around you. How can they be so awfully gross? Tell them to "watch where their hands are"...and they are like, "what, don't you like me?" C'mon, I've had enough already.
At first it's all rosy and you expect a happily-ever-after fairytale ending. But this is the real world, darling. No story has a happily-ever-after here. Then starts the bad phase; the tough part. All the fighting, the pain, the tears... It just becomes too much to swallow. You want to give up on the person, but you can't…because you are too scared. Too scared of what others might say. Bitter truths start coming back to your mind...truths like my friend was so right about him, my mom was always telling me...
It's just amazing how you can feel so much for a person...how you feel like you can do anything to make the person really like you...how you can go to any lengths to get the person...and then all of a sudden, start hating the same person whom you had cherished for so long.
You want to start all over again and start thinking… maybe it's time you had moved on...moved on with your life. Just lived your life and had fun with your friends. Maybe that's why we are human beings. God made us this way. And this is how we'll always be. Keep getting hurt...fall down with pain...crawl our way out of all the misery...push ourselves upright...stand up once again.
Feelings and emotions are always so awfully confusing. No one will ever understand them. It’s just a big game played by everyone. And the spectator---our sweet lord.
But we can't really help it now, can we? Because it's like..."You can't live with them, but you can't live without them". It's just this strange law of nature that always keeps the beings of the opposite sex together. You can neither deny nor can you defy it. It’s just too bad, isn’t it?
And yeah I’m writing this with a hot head! I’m angry…real angry right now. C’mon, I’m a girl too…the same stuff keep happening to me. Getting hurt is a total normal routine for me. But unlike other girls I don’t cry and that results in what you call as pent up anger. My volcano of anger and frustration is always bubbling, just beneath the surface…waiting to force its way out and scorch anyone in its path. No, I don’t need help. You don’t have to tell me anything. I can help myself. It’s just a rough period, that’s all. I’m a big girl now. I’m starting to learn the tricks of the trade…and soon enough it’ll be the other way round. I’ll no longer be standing on the receiving end of all the pain. ‘Cause I’m learning…I’m learning…

insomniac

2008-03-10T01:39:00.000-07:00

I had written this in five minutes: It's not great...but hey! It was written in five minutes...

Oh dear! Its 1:40 in the morning
and i don't even feel like sleeping
Its just not proper, is it?
Am I suffering from insomnia?

This certainly is very bad news
But why don't you try and get into my shoes
Try and understand that I've gotta blog
But still...am I suffering from insomnia?

Now I'm feeling a little hungry
Which might make me slightly pudgy
'Coz at night I have a feeding frenzy
But am I suffering from insomnia?

Guess my feelings are all muddled up
Because now I feel like going to a pub
And listen to some decent bands play
Maybe this is lunacy and not insomnia.(yay!)

Winter

2008-03-09T01:54:00.000-08:00

I miss the winter
A world where i find new peace
Look for me in a wide forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
And when you find me
I know you'll hear me...
---Amy Lee

lachrymose

2008-03-01T02:38:00.000-08:00

Her mind confused, her heart weeping.
I can see her lost and lonely...
Loving someone... someone who doesn't understand
She's calling for him to set her free...
Scared of him turning away from her
She's drowning in her own fears...
Letting the pain flood her from within...
She's wilting away...surrounded by her own tears.
Praying...she seeks salvation,
Bleeding and screaming for him...
Wanting him to know for once,
How she still longs for him...

The spider 'who' bit spiderman

2007-08-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

hello everyone! what follows is a very short piece from a spider's life. a special spider with special powers. its not yet complete...but i still hope you all like it.

The spider ‘who’ bit Spiderman

Spiderman! Ah! The famous superhero. The ultimate masked terror of the bad boys.
Spiderman, oh Spiderman! Wherefore art thou Spiderman?
Look at him swing from building to building, climb walls and save damsels in distress(or rather should I say, save distressing damsels). Listen to the crowd cheer. Oh don’t they simply love him.
Oh, puh-lease! Just stop it, alright. Without me he would’ve been just another guy with dorky glasses and his stupid text books. Oh how I regret the day when I had accidentally bit him. I didn’t mean to, obviously. It was entirely his fault. He tried to swat me between his dirty hands. And he missed(well, big surprise!). my reflexes took the better of my intellect and I bit him. God! How I wish that day had never come. But the deed’s done, ain’t it? And there’s no use crying over spilt milk. Speaking of milk, I used to like milk. But after those insensible and heartless humans(they call themselves scientists) performed some experiments on me, I became kinda allergic to it. And then, guess what?! They named me Jojo the spider. I mean, c’mon. How can anyone with a teaspoonful of brain think of a name like Jojo the spider, and that too name an entirely harmless spider. But oh dear, I was no longer harmless, was I? I was the spider on whom hundreds of radioactive experiments had been performed. That made me more strong and powerful than ever. (I’m not saying that I’m not grateful. Its just that there are certain compensations. Milk, for example.)
I could now leap up to a height ten times than that can be achieved by any living spider. I was faster; waaaay faster. And the best part was that I had developed a special sense of danger. I was able to sense danger before anyone could even fathom. I was the perfect weapon----only in the form of a harmless spider.
But this was only in my case. When the same experiments were tried on two of my friends- Nugget and Shakira; they responded pretty nastily. Nugget, an extremely hairy tarantula was the worst affected. He was the kind who takes pride in their hair and great body, you know. Well, I can’t blame him now, can I? He really did have very nice hair. So, he, well, he kinda lost his hair, became naked altogether… but didn’t lose his muscles. He lost colour too. I mean, he literally lost colour. He became all pale and started growing more muscles... and well, what can I say? Poor bloke! Ended up being all white and fat! Without his much prized looks, he died soon thereafter. He was distraught. I always insisted that he had died because he had lost his original good-looks. But no one seems to agree with me. Well, you know how ignorant and arrogant other spiders can be. So, um, that’s basically how he died.
Now, about my other friend Shakira (she wasn’t exactly a friend, but I always kinda liked her personality). She was one hot she-spider. Great body, great looks. Kinda intoxicating, you know. But I never risked a relationship with her. She had this really strange habit of killing her boyfriends, you know. She was a black widow, after all. So, the experiments failed on her too. She became all nice and sweet. Thank god she didn’t have any change in her skin colour like Nugget had. That would’ve been awfully gross. After about two nights, she died too. Dunno why, though. Must’ve been those harsh experiments being conducted on her. Poor thing!
May their souls rest in peace…amen!
Best not wallow in our grief anymore. I’m here to tell you all my story, am I not? So, where was I? Oh, right. So, Nugget and Shakira were not the only spiders who had snuffed it. There were others too. Many of them. Dying a wicked death. A pretty sight it certainly was not.
You readers must be wondering why I wasn’t out there trying to help them with my powers. Well I was caged, wasn’t I? Caged in an ugly transparent box! I was lonely; I was helpless. I wanted desperately to flee from that place. My days were fuelled by my enthusiasm to devise a plan for my escape from amidst those god forsaken humans.
So, one fine day, when the sun was shining high up in the sky and the so-called scientists were up to some other dirty little experiment of theirs...I played dead(hey, I had no other choice…why don’t you try to escape from a glass box). And the plan worked. I know it wasn’t the kind of plan you readers might’ve expected from me, taking into consideration my intelligence and powers. But those thick headed homo sapiens(I picked up the word from a kid’s science text book…see, I am intelligent) thought I was dead for real. After a lot of poking and pinching, those morons threw me out. And I was free once again. Free to roam around the entire city of New York! Free to do whatever I wished to do. And so I decided to do the first thing that came to my mind.
I decided to go to the nearest museum where they had this scary looking place displaying all kinds of exotic spiders…I had gone there to show off, by the way. C’mon, I had amazing powers. I mean, name a spider that can jump ten times higher than any other living spider in this world(its me).
And that’s where it happened…
I started displaying my bag of tricks in front of the other doomed spiders, when all of a sudden a very jealous spider(he was green!) challenged me to try and scare a human. As if I had never done that before. But I had a slight problem…people don’t usually find me scary. They always find fat and ugly and disgusting looking spiders frightening. Spiders like Nugget. And just because I look thin and small, people underestimate my venomous bite! But I accepted the ill-bred spider’s challenge. I was a “super-spider”, I couldn’t run away from such trivial provocations.

on holiday!!

2007-06-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

ah! can't believe i'm finally enjoying my hols. sheer bliss!! have nothin' to write about. wonderful, lazy, amazing holidays.

the legendary first blog

2007-05-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

at last!!! the wait is over... my discovery of the 'joys' of blogging has finally led me to start posting blogs in my very own blogsite.
in case you're wondering about the pecularity of my blogname: its the spell that was used by Harry to shoo away the malicious Malfoy.... yeah right, i'm a Harry Potter fan. who isn't? its one of the greatest series ever written... i could keep going on the whole day, you know. but anyway, my semester exams are going on and i'm totally pissed... i mean, c'mon, its been over a month... and i've still got three subjects left... god save me!! these people out here are crazy. they give us only one day to study before our chemistry exam, and for our communication skills exam: FOUR whole days!!! would you believe that. every single person who calls himself/herself a faculty member out here is senile. and they have made it their life's main objective to convert us into zombies with brains and thoughts resembling theirs. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!
ok girl, calm down. relax. don't worry, i'm not angry...not angry.

*scribble...scribble*